Not All I Can Give

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Me and Mini me starting off the New Year right and cold!! I love seeing her little smile as we squish a new friend in between us down the hill. Seeing mini me’s face light up makes the world feel right. I am so blessed.

This new year started off surrounded by people I love and by new people I had never met. While the holidays are generally a mix of gratefulness and a looking back for me, I took careful stock of the smiling faces on New Years Eve. It gave me hope for deeper love in my life. Resolving to love and live better, I opted to assess what I have in my life and what I need. This churning of ideas and desires in my head can be overwhelming. Realizations sometimes come to me at odd hours. I am still sometimes a scared little girl awake when the sun is still hiding. At other times, I am a woman of great strength, great passion and quite charming. This is a part of me I need to see more.
With the temperatures at an all time low, I think of the thousands of children who may not have the warmth of inner strength to draw upon. Stories of young foster children stuck in cold city shelters plagued me this holiday season. My gratefulness for the chances I have had as a former foster child, and the warmth I have in my life now as an adult, builds me up in confusing times.
My resolve this year is to tap into the reserve of strength I have and impart that strength on others rather than let ghosts of the past blur my vision or block my path.
Selflessness is the only way to feel alive, whether it be selflessness as a parent, mentor, advocate, teacher, friend, lover or artist. It is all a giving. This new year I need to take less and give more.

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