The idea of motherhood to me has definitions that I’ve re-written over time when I was a child in foster care, and now years later, as an adult and parent. This video clearly depicts what should be the aim of every child welfare agency (at least at its heart). It should be to instill a sense of self-value, protection and belonging that only a secure, trusted parental figure can bring.
Not many things are universal. But one thing is; the need to be valued. For the hundreds of thousands of children in foster care across the states, this void accounts for a lifetime of tribulation. It contributes to academic failure, abuse in later relationships, addictions, depression, homelessness, crime, anxiety, an overall sense of unworthiness…the list goes on. But this downward spiral/harsh cycle can be interrupted and reversed with just one single caring adult. Just one!
Repairing the past for children who have been victims of abuse ( especially abuse perpetrated by a parent who the child should be able to trust above anyone else), is no easy feat. When the early sense of trust/protection/survival/ food/nutrition/sunlight/safety is deprived in young children, and by a parent…their physical and emotional growth is shocked. Their hearts are blown apart. When the basic human need for food , shelter, safety is harshly stunted by trusting adults, we see childhoods and little souls broken. Then they become older souls, with missing parts.
In all of the trials of surviving early abuse, one thing does not change. Every child, I do not care how old he or she is, I do not care what has been perpetrated against them, or how they show themselves to the world…craves protection and valuation. Child agencies, schools and families are sometimes missing this piece of the puzzle. Only structure, consistency, advocacy, trust and opportunities to reach their potential can rebuild broken children or raise empathetic ones.
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